it seems that the one thing causing our heartache when a loved one exits this earthly sphere is there‘s so much more we wanted to ask……there‘s so much more we wanted to say.
a couple weeks ago, while selecting art supplies, the gal assisting me with my purchases told me how to tear watercolour paper to achieve the deckled edge. i said, without thinking much about my words, that‘s one thing i wanted to ask kelly and never had the opportunity. and then i heard myself speak it. that‘s one thing i wanted to ask kelly and never had the opportunity. i’m sure she was there with me, prompting the gal to just simply offer up this information to me.
and then, a couple days later, as i was delving into the midst of some really deep soulwork with a friend, i sat talking about kelly and how much i miss her. how i am sure she was my friend. how no one else dictates what a friendship means except for the two persons expressing the mutual affection between them. and then, the ensō that was permanently inked onto my wrist the day kelly said she was ready to go home and i did not know she had spoken these words, right then that ensō tingled and burned and buzzed like my skin was on fire, like she was right there in the cells of my hide. like she was saying and here‘s some more truths about us. as i reviewed my fears and my character defects with my friend, i heard myself spilling out all the rightness and all the frankness and all the exactness about what is in the meat of my heart.
it‘s a good life.