this life. these days.

as i travel coyote hill, i find mirror’d shards of glass, remnants from when my hillside cabin burned to the ground in 1997. when i discover these little bits of mirror, i tuck them into my pocket and carry them up to angelo, placing them on the altar in my forest. yesterday i tied a wee fragile strand of prayer flags to the north corner of garden fence. i watched them flapping in the wind as i stood there pondering how very much my life has changed and how full of gratefulness and thanksgiving i am for my life right now. for these days right now.

quite recently i sat chatting with my teachers, more listening than talking, hearing with my heart’s ears about the body’s heavenly gate and energy and qi. as i took in all these truths, it was as if i had been re-awakened from a long dry period of existence, all the cells in my body nodding in agreement to what they already knew. what they already know. 

the elements are all so real and close right now. earth metal fire wood water. i taste them in my mouth. i feel them come alive within this earthly body. i know for a fact that i am new while i am old. does that make sense? it does to me. i am new at this age i am right now. i feel like i shall live forever.

so i stand in the garden, working the soil, plucking weeds from between little sprouts of plants that will come to nourish my body, mister jones’s body, little ziggy’s and princess pinto’s bodies. and, milo’s little body, if you count the cat grass i planted for him. i look up and into the forest quite often. i talk to those who have gone on before me. i miss them, i tell them. i will always miss you. i love them, i tell them. i will always love you. 

this next phase of life will find me carrying many rocks and relics and bits of detritus up to the forest, placing them around pluckie’s tree and arranging them on angelo’s spot. it is time to move my altars from inside to outdoors. it is time to learn to sink this rising swell of heart down into my qi.

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it’s a good life. 

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